I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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