i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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