My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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