This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
