There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
