My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
