I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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