is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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