Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
