That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
