I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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