have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
