Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize