I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
