There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
