How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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