According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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