i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
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You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
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Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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