somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
