Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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