Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
