does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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