I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
