dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
that may or may not have been my penis.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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