You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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