She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
