hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize