I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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