I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
No...this little piggys going to the bar
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
