look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
