Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
