Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
