On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
