lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
