Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just pee around me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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