You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
