Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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