I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize