Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
