just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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