she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize