Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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