where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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