This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.