as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me