walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?