I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
