yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
