worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
