I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
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He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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