So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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