My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
