i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
