yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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