Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize