okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
