Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
