im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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