Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
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But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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