he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
