dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i will never coherently bang her
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
