when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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