Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
