My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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