Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She needs sedatives and a leash
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
